What this quiz measures
It doesn’t ask “do you still love him?” Love is rarely the problem. It asks about what makes a relationship livable day to day: do you feel respected, do you want the same future, does your partner make an effort when you ask for something, and what really keeps you there.
The last question is about fear. It counts double and, as soon as the answer isn’t “never,” your result includes hotlines that can help.
The result levels
- 0 to 24Nothing in your answers says leaveYour doubt probably comes from a specific moment rather than the relationship.
- 25 to 44Things to work out before decidingPoints of tension that will tip the scale one way or the other.
- 45 to 69A relationship that costs you more than it givesTime to decide: either something really changes, or you allow yourself to leave.
- 70 to 100A lot of reasons to leaveStaying put is costing you more than you think.
10 signs it might be time to break up
- You feel lonelier together than when you’re actually alone.
- You’re staying out of fear: of being alone, of starting over, of what people will say.
- The same fights come back every few weeks, word for word.
- You’ve asked for the same change more times than you can count.
- You hide things about the relationship from your friends.
- You picture leaving and what you feel is relief.
- You want different futures: kids, marriage, where to live.
- Trust is broken and won’t come back, despite the effort.
- You’ve shrunk yourself to avoid conflict, until you barely recognize yourself.
- You’ve been afraid of your partner: if so, your safety comes first.
Should I stay or should I go: 4 questions before deciding
- Would I choose them again today?Not the person from the beginning: the one you’re with now.
- What happens when I ask for something?Real effort, or promises that fade by the weekend?
- What am I actually afraid of?Losing them, or being alone? They’re not the same thing.
- What would I tell my best friend?If she described this relationship to me, what would I say?
Decide on facts, not on one bad night
The worst time to decide is right after a fight; the second worst is right after making up. What helps is looking at the last few months as a whole: what changed, who makes the effort, what keeps coming back. That’s often already written in your texts.
Nola can read them for you with the text message analyzer, and if what you’re going through looks more like control or guilt-tripping, the toxic relationship quiz goes deeper on that.
Frequently asked questions
Can a quiz tell me if I should break up with my boyfriend?
No quiz should decide for you. This one shows what weighs in your answers (respect, trust, the future, what keeps you there) and how heavy it is. The decision stays yours; the quiz helps you see it more clearly.
Is this breakup quiz really free?
Yes. The quiz, the score and the detailed breakdown are free, with no sign-up and no email. Your answers stay in your browser.
Does it work if I'm asking about my girlfriend or my wife?
Yes. The questions are about your partner, whoever they are: boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or a situationship that has gone on too long.
How do I know it's time to break up?
Look at what repeats, not at one bad night: you feel lonelier together than alone, the same fights never get resolved, you stay mostly out of fear, you feel relief when you imagine leaving, and your requests never lead to real change. The more of these show up, the more staying as things are costs you.
I know I should break up but I can't. Why?
Because a breakup isn't only a decision: it's fear of being alone, history, shared plans, sometimes money or a lease. Wanting to leave and not being able to yet is very common. Naming exactly what keeps you there is the first step, whatever you end up choosing.
Why could Nola's answer be different from my score?
The quiz only knows your answers to 15 questions. Nola can read your actual texts and ask about your context: what changed, who makes the effort, what keeps coming back. It's not the same data, so the result can be different.